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Thursday, July 31, 2008
My mom is so retarded. We had put the cheesecake we had in the freezer because we thought it was getting too soft. I took it out and began cutting it when my mom started complaining that it was too hard now.

Sophie: "Anyway I prefer it hard."
Mother: "Well yes some things are better hard." And started laughing like a maniac.

If you don't get it I'm not attempting to explain it.

Okay don't be fooled by the above section, that was a draft typed out a few days ago. Right now I'm actually in a really bitchy bitch foul mood ):

The kind where you want people to pay attention to you like NOW but at the same time you feel so annoyed at everyone and everything that you don't feel like talking either.

As usual after every exam we were asked to set new targets and do reflections (say that in a really whiny voice like re-fleCtionnns, it has better effect). We all hate (or my friends and I do anyway) this process because it is so absolutely redundant. What is the point of stating the obvious like "oh I didn't study enough" or "I have to start studying more"?

In addition, it makes me feel incredibly stupid. It trivialises my bad results to become a mere passing like "oh you did badly even though As are just 4 months away, never mind, just REFLECT on it and improve!"

It's done just so that the school (this applies to all schools) can feel or try to portray it has fulfilled its duty of student welfare and helping us in value-addedness and etc and trying to make us see the horrid errors of our ways. After students have filled in lacklustre lies and half-lies on the sheet, the staff will just collect it all and say "phew what effort we are making!" and promptly chuck it into some forgotten drawer.

Okay I'm probably being really unfair and whiny and after all it's probably all MOE's idea right. BadMood BadMood. But I won't deprive you of my Rachel and Ian's (GP classmates!) video:

Monday, July 28, 2008
Was incredibly restless/bored today. I tried to convince my classmate that my teeth had grown larger but she didn't believe me.

Recently more blog wars! CelesteChen vs Tammy. How perfectly entertaining. 2 of Celeste Chen's cousins are still in my church now.

Which meant that years ago Celeste, Nicole, Tessa and occasionally one or two others, would turn up at my Sunday School class in the latest fayshuns, dressed EXACTLY THE SAME.

Until now a churchmate still reminisces about Nicole's leopard print pants. Which I don't recall at all. And that's probably a good thing.
But who am I to say, I was the nerdy/neopetsaddict/bossy kid with specs then and I've nothing against either bloggers. Once in a while I still visit Celeste's blog to see what she's wearing/new videos. Ultimately we're all secretely voyeurs.

Currently my litany of strangers' blogs whom I read extend up to... 4. Only. Is that alot?

Okay birthday photo to break the monotony of words.

Sec3, I hit 170cm and 50kg.
Sec4, 171cm and 51kg. (yeah sucks right, 1cm growth should not equal 1kg!!)
JC1, 172cm and 52kg.

Jc2, still 172cm and suddenly put on 2kg in a few weeks!! Annoying. Previously it was like 365days = 1kg.

For those who can't do the math, that's 54kg for you. I was mildly (okay fairly) annoyed by the sudden weight gain but in the end gave up cause it gave me a BMI of 18.3 which is not like, TERRIBLE or anything.

Anyway, in the last 2weeks in France, I suddenly lost the 2kg, for no apparent reason. WOOHOO.

After 2 weeks back in Singapore, I lost ANOTHER 2kg. So now I'm back down to 50kg?! I mean I haven't been 50kg for.. 2+ years. Now I've a BMI of 16.9. That IS a bit low..

And I've absolutely no idea why I lost weight. I haven't done anything out of the norm.

Actually on weekends I practically only have one meal the whole day. Cause by the time I get up it's like... 3pm.

At home I don't eat much because my mom doesn't cook. I'm perfectly fine with maggimee 3 days in a row (I've a fair amount of hair to spare right now so no need for MSG-hair-fall reminders). I'm far far too lazy to cook/buy food. I'd rather just go hungry.

But in school I can tell you my class friends think I'm a huge fatass hahaha.

6DRQs (Direct Response Questions) calling my name for Geog homework.
Friday, July 25, 2008

Cake and sparklers at my door just before midnight.
Your hands were shaking as you held the cake.

18th birthday morning started in tears. Woke up late and my mom started scolding me in the car about him stopping over last night, "setting my priorities" etc etc etc.
"Why're you always SMS-ing?!!"
"Umm I'm just replying birthday messages."

Pregnant pause.

"You mean today's your birthday?"

FUCK THANKS do you know how hurtful that is?

But aside from that this is my best birthday ever. I'm so touched by all the effort my friends put in to make this extra special for me.

I opened Gracia's card and started crying as I read the message. Best expression of thanks I could probably ever give.

Birthday Tiara!

Tiara and balloon, thanks Shaun!

Gracia's card.

Sophie Estelle Willocq

Much love to all who wished. Much love to all who remembered (even if it's with the aid of Friendster/Facebook/Handphone). Much love to all who made me feel extra loved today.

Thursday, July 24, 2008
I've never said "I forgive you" to anyone in my life. Not because I have all magnanimous bones lacking. But because I think that the word "forgive" is so sacrosanct.

What gives me any authority to forgive someone? I can never bear to use it because it'd make me feel so conceited. To me, only God has the right to forgive whomsoever. To me, all I can do is not resent. Pardon, exculpate, vindicate. Anything, but forgive.

Just one of my random peculiar preferences. So don't ever say "I forgive you" to me.

Just one of my random peculiar preferences. Right up there with my fear of lift doors, hatred of bad stapling and liking for big cutlery.

On another note, Diana yesterday asked if a printout was the "soft copy" and the digital version in the thumbdrive was the "hard" one. Warrants as much acclaim as the time Addie asked if we were to turn clockwise starting facing the clock or back facing.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Some people (friends included) actually thought I lost something major (i.e. the big VVVVVVV) haha but no I didn't tenjews very much.
I could say something rehashed like I lost my sanity but I'm not that melodramatic.

"Apparently she feels very bad about it, she feels like a slut."
"But she is a slut what." Petty but gratifying to hear this view echoed whenever I mention the former.

Everyone thinks I'm NumeroUno Idiotus for even still talking to him. Which I am. Don'tknowdon'tknowdon'tknow everyone stop bugging me.

Random: you know... any guy who makes you hate another person, or just perpetuates hatred in your heart, should be kept far far away. life is too damn short to be sad. and anyway, it's not even worth it.

I've smart taggers. I really never thought of it that way before.

Seems like I've currently a few friends going through the same/similar situations. One says she cried reading my blog because she could totally feel it. Boys are very bad ):
I never ever thought I'd be the kind that'd be like this. I always assumed I could be emotionally strong and entirely independent. Goes to show.

Right now it all boils down to how much I can forget/sacrifice. If it's to forget, it'd go against everything I stand for. But on the other hand I don't know if I can take it to sacrifice instead. The absolute worst is, I really can't be dealing with this right now. Not with the deciding exam in my life coming up.

Pictures time because that's what happens when you're the one usually armed with a camera:
1) Friday- Shaun Ng's 19th and Roy Tong's 18th at Brewerkz/Zouk.

Well if ever I fell down and lost all my memory, at least I could know my name!


Birthday boys feat. drunk Carlos.

Roy and Shaun

2PINTS of beer and wazaaaa- Brewerkz floor hahahahaha.

Headed down to Helipad for awhile. The concept's interesting, it has an open-air upper floor that's designed to look like a Helicopter Landing Pad.

It has a really nice entrance. Sleek metal door automatically slides open to reveal this dark pathway with mirrored walls. Anywhere on the floor on which you step will be followed by blue squares. Pretty!

So down to Zouk with Shaun, Roy, Jesse (boys), Diana, Huda, Jeannie, Chloe and I (girls) which was terribly disappointing ): We were too late for Phuture and hence wound up paying $25 for trance the whole night in the main arena omg.

Roy tried teaching us how to shuffle but errr Chloe's the only one with any flair for it but it's okay we're not jealous of shuffling abilities haha.

Diana (FLUFFY!) and I

2) Saturday
Headed to Little India to buy my saree for Racial Harmony Day!
MRT-ed to town where I was the lonesome earliest >:( but luckily I bumped into Swing and Dice whom I haven't seen in ages:

Finally Marco, Jeannie, Chloe, Geran etc etc came. Original plans were to watch the Dark Knight (Marco thought it was Dark Night hahahahahaha x1000) but even at 6pm tickets were sold out all the way till midnight!
We even went down to Great World City but the only shows available there were midnight ones too.

At Marco's:


It looks madly in love with Chloe.

I love cats but my mom's allergic to their fur.

Anyway the rest decided to go ahead and watch the midnight screenings but I was fairly adamant against it because yeah. Other stuff to do.
Headed home and upstairs where I put down my stuff and promptly came out again armed with my phone and trusty Ipod and walked around my neighbourhood and beyond.

3)Racial Harmony Day!
Speculated early early meeting time of 7am in school to dress up together was a horrible failure. Anyway in the end we sought the help of the Indian aunty to help us!

My saree itself cost $30 and the inner tube blouse thingy cost $9 plus $1 for the pretty forehead sticker thingy- $40 for Racial Harmony Day.

Not exactly a given but hey, it's my last year! I staunchly avoided drinks and didn't pee the whole day (marvel at my determination) because to do so would mark the impossibility of ever being able to get into the saree on my own.

I wore my saree all the way till 7pm! After which I finally took it off so that I could go to McDonalds (yum) in peace. Sarees are really pretty, but not exactly functional.

9pleats I think.