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Thursday, July 23, 2009

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said "Is your dad home?" and I said I'd check. I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad yells "Does that asshole not have a life?!" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker.

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!"

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years told me she was pregnant. I started freaking out, so she put her arm around me and said, "Don't worry, it's not yours."

Today, after my girlfriend of 2 years left me for another guy, I got stuck in an elevator for 3 hours. With the both of them.

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was and etc. I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh and he responded, "Ew, that just killed it."

soapz; says: (11:44:03 PM)
Alberto Nunez says: (11:43:43 PM)
is this F my life?
soapz; says: (11:44:13 PM)
haha yeah it always serves as a pick me up hahaha
Alberto Nunez says: (11:48:36 PM)
do you ever feel guilty?
Alberto Nunez says: (11:48:41 PM)
soapz; says: (11:49:05 PM)
for not having as shitty a life? not really

Haha this might be morbid, but it's all really funny. It just makes you go :o but makes you laugh as well.

This looks gay, but I'm a girl (vain), so I wanted to show my flower :o

Alberto Nunez is actually Gxxxn, but he's retarded and staunchly believes in Internet safety, so he ditched his Facebook and email accounts and created new ones. And of course he had to choose the most disgusting name as his new online persona.

He also has a hamster called Soulja Boy. Wtf?
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