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Guide to Posting Camwhore Photos

Tuesday, March 06, 2012
Here are three four five ways to post camwhore photos of yourself on your blog without looking like it means ~ too much ~ to you. Like you know, you're just ~ casually ~ inserting these nice photos of you. 
No, no, you didn't spend any time at all checking the picture, re-taking it, editing it...

1) Be outrightly shameless about it. This is called Le Bongqiuqiu.
This makes you look like you are too cool to care about people thinking you're a show-off/arrogant about your looks. You got it? You flaunt it! If your skin is thick enough, no one will bother trying to insult you because you are too outrightly shameless already.

Additional points:
Put a disclaimer. This slightly decreases your cringe-worthiness because you are shameless about being shameless. You can also say things like, "I already had nice makeup on that day" (possibly true).

2) Make it seem deep/Tumblr-ish.
Attention seeking? Moi? Not at all. I photograph myself to convey my emotions. Don't you see my black & white photos? Don't you see how I look off into the distance? Can't you see my pain & suffering? Yes, the boobage/cleavage is absolutely necessary. It's all artistic license.
This is just ~ me ~, shedding (literally) the superficiality of the world. 

Lots of these photos of me are in fact candids! I didn't know I was being photographed! You caught me in a moment of deep intellectual though *wink*. Oh right, except it's a PHOTOBOOTH PICTURE. *giggle* Must have been my cat! Naughty thing, loves stepping on my laptop; hits the "capture" button!

3) Mix your camwhore photos with completely irrelevant quotes about life.
Ralph Waldo Emerson! Einstein! Margaret Atwood! Charlie Chaplin! 
Never mind that you don't know anything about these people, or whether they even said it. You just know they're somebody, because they're always written on pretty images on Tumblr! But it makes it look like you know... this is from your ~ personal ~ collection of favourite quotes that you live by.

Better yet, don't even credit them! It'll make it seem like you came up with it! The more quotes the merrier, because you can slip in more photos of yourself. Dear readers, do ponder the wisdom of this quote I've included while gazing at this picture of me.

4) Talk about how insecure you really are. A favourite across ages! Timeless classic!
Omg I'm so fat & I'm so ugly & I wish I was prettier (don't we all)! I'll never be pretty, I'll never be good enough, I failed because I'm not pretty enough (irrelevant). I hate my looks so much, that's why I take all these photos of myself & post them all! But other girls will feel they can really ~ connect ~ with me because I'm so ~ real ~
Bonus point: Sit back & wait for the "omg you're SO NOT fat/ugly/etc"!

Personally I prefer method (1). The one I dislike the most... probably (2).

For (4), it's normal to be insecure. Lots of girls don't usually feel comfortable/happy with their photos/looks. So it's great if there are some photos of you that you really like & you want people to see it! We all pick flattering photos of ourselves for Facebook, Twitter etc... to portray the "us" we want. So if you do find some you like, good on you, go ahead & be shameless! But you say you feel like this all the time... but also post camwhore photos of yourself all the time? Don't make a mockery out of girls who genuinely feel this way. It's not empowering. It's not girl power. They don't feel any better seeing photos of a supposedly "ugly" girl who... is actually pretty & complains about it.

Also applies to slim/skinny/healthy girls who moan about their weight all the time.
Skinny-girl-mon used #FISHINGFORCOMPLIMENTS! It's very effective!
Seen on Formspring, Twitter, Facebook... & in real life.

Better shameless than a liar (2 - 4). Actually (3) is relatively harmless. Just very poseur hahaha.

Photobucket

"We all pick flattering photos of ourselves ... to portray the 'us' we want" 
- Charles Dickens Sophie Willocq

5) Write a smartass, self-righteous post like this & insert irrelevant camwhore photos.
PURE GENIUS. YOU DESERVE TO POST THOSE CAMWHORE PHOTOS DAMMIT!

P.S. Technically not a camwhore picture. I thought of #5 only because the post looked too wordy. I have no spare camwhore photos on hand so I have to use one I'm going to blog eventually in a normal event post anyway -_- It was either this (from Nuffnang's 5th) or Tokyo pictures.

All similarities to persons alive or dead are purely coincidental. 
(Is this correct? Done from memory of TV shows)
 Except for Le Bongqiuqiu. 
I like that one.
17 comments on "Guide to Posting Camwhore Photos"
  1. yeee! when you love camwhoring, you gotta camwhore!

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  2. LOL "le bongqiuqiu" hahahaha

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  3. Anonymous6:30 PM

    Haha 'le bongqiuqiu' got me cracking lol

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  4. I definitely agree on point 5! Smartass! :D

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  5. Well written. Couldn't have describe it better myself. ;-)

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  6. Anonymous12:56 AM

    Can't stand number 4! Especially when they look good in it yet moan about how "ugly" they are. Haha, it's rather tempting to agree with them for once and say "yeah, you look like crap."

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  7. Anonymous10:31 PM

    Where did you get your top in the picture? :)

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  8. Anonymous11:29 PM

    #2 and #3 sounds like peggy heng... haha!

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  9. Anonymous: It's a dress from Love Bonito! :)

    Anonymous: Haha she does #3. #2 not really! The #2 type tend to be the ones who are like all "omg blogger is so uncool, I'm gonna be all cryptic & just put really DEEP photos on my tumblr/LJ"

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  10. Anonymous3:57 PM

    my my, aren't you full of shit.

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  11. i like point 5!!

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  12. Anonymous: Omg soooo hurt & sad *cries*

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  13. Anon, my my, are you a sad little piece of shit reading a blog that you think is written by someone full of shit.

    Go eat shit lah you. Tsk.

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  14. Anonymous1:45 AM

    LOL @ Le Bongqiuqiu. & i can't stand ppl who do #3, trying to sound like they're full of wisdom & shit when the truth it most of the time they don't even know what the quote meant.

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  15. Anonymous1:10 PM

    *cough* naomi neo *cough*

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  16. Hey, just wanna let you know I blogged a post recently on this post! I used some quotes of yours and I think it's only right if I let you know in advance. I believe this post will allow many bloggers to know how to post camwhore photos without being too offensive!

    Just some thoughts on point #4! Don't find me offensive and if it causes any discomfort, do let me know!

    Cheers,
    JESSSSSSSSSSICA!
    http://stripsexdeuces.blogspot.com

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  17. Jessica: No worries! Thanks for crediting me! :)

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